Vitamin C hair dye removal, Episode 1!

Hey guys, Elyse here

In my last post, I told you all about my latest frustration...getting this blue dye out of my hair. Since then, I have spoken with a friend of mine that told me that the brand and color I used is the hardest to remove. I have been using Ion Brilliance, in various shades of blue, including their teal and aqua shades, gleefully dying my hair what would end up being the most stubborn blue. So, if you're reading this Ion, fuck you. If you come across this post before you use this brand and color, please please turn back, while you still can!!

Anyways, brace yourselves, because this post is going to be picture laden with horrifying images of my face with no makeup! EEK! If you've decided you have the balls, join me now in the confusing adventures of Vitamin C dye removal, and my review of the results. 

The before pic: beware, here there be no makeup dragons.

Content not suitable for children

First, I went out and bought Vitamin C pills, tablet style. Not chewable, not gummy. Tablets. Take a mortar and pestle and crush about 20 of those suckers up. If you don't have a mortar and pestle, sucks for you. Put the pills in a ziploc baggie and crush them with a rolling pin. 

make sure there's no lumps or hard bits. it should be powder. 

Now, add two parts shampoo (clarifying shampoo like head and shoulders or baby shampoo works best.) to one part powder. Add to moist hair, and lather. Lather like your ass is on the line. It might get gel-like, or it might be runny. 

Warning: This is for the people that may not have any common sense. If it burns when it's on your head, rinse it off. Right away. Don't blame me when you get a rash, but I didn't. 

Now it may get runny, so wrap your head in a plastic bag, and have a towel on your shoulders. 

I left this this goop on for two hours as the other blogs about it suggested. Yeah, I don't have much patience, but I was able to wait it out. I didn't feel any tingling, or anything from this. It didn't run on me, but I had a towel near by just in case. Gotta protect my solid-gold sofa.

I rinsed it out, and didn't see any color coming with it, which was disheartening.
 After drying, the blue near my roots had lightened some, but overall, this method didn't do much for me. Also, (and pay attention, this is important)
It dried my hair out like a mofo. It has taken some intensive care to get them back to a semi-healthy condition again. Now, some people who have tried the Vitamin C method say it takes a couple tries. I, however, will not being doing it again. The results were not at all worth drying my hair out so bad, and I'll be trying something out next time. Any suggestions of alternative color removal methods? Comment below. My locks are your guinea pigs. Oh, and here is the picture of the next morning, with the results of this failed, failed experiment.

Until next time, enjoy responsibly!
Elyse

My Hair Journey...From Blue to White

AKA...why won't the blue dye get the fuck out of my hair?

Hey guys, Elyse here, and I am writing a two part post about my hair. After all of my shades of pastel hair, I had decided a few months back to use semi-permanent blue, in a few shades. I loved it. But now that it's time for a change, I am completely unable to lift this damn blue out. After doing some research, I found out that blue and green dyes are some of the toughest to get out. Frustrated, I looked for answers. Here's the hang-up, I cannot bleach my hair again until I heal it a little. It's fried like an egg in the desert.

Not my kid. 

I looked up ways to get this color out of my hair, (in order to put another one in of course,) and I came up with EVERYTHING. From crushing up vitamin C pills, to oil pulling, to awful bleach, to voodoo magic. I may have been exaggerating one that last one. 

So, here I am at a crossroads. Which one do I try? Well, I hope you are prepared to follow us for a few weeks because I am putting my hair through all of these, or until I find one that works, and reporting to you guys with the results of each. Prepare to see my face with no makeup, EEK! And hopefully some good results will be found. That's right, for all of you who are sitting at home with faded, but very persistent blue hair, I am sacrificing myself FOR SCIENCE!!! (and I will document it for your use. You're welcome, assholes.) 

So stay tuned viewers! 

Part two of my post is brief. Because I will be wrecking my hair, most likely, I need to start with some semi-repaired locks. I jogged to the store..jk I fucking drove. And I randomly selected a Keratin conditioner. Went home expecting little results, and damn was I wrong! 

This shit is made of angel tears and the blood of a virgin.

I used my regular shampoo, conditioned with this, and not only does it smell like coconut heaven, it works. From the first time i used it, I noticed an immediate improvement in my ends. Less split ends, much easier to comb through wet, and brush while dry, and best of all, I will be able to commence Operation Blueless, starting with episode 1: Vitamin C. And no, this company didn't pay me a cent to whore their product. Although if you work for them, and want to send me money, please feel free.

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and why I hate my body...

Whoa! Wait a minute, this fun-loving blog isn't going to become some crazy medical blog is it?

Fear not....Elyse here...and this is merely a rant influenced by a few things...

1. I am 21 years old, and have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, a condition where your body attacks your thyroid, which apparently controls everything that's mildly important in your body. You know, like temperature, heart rate, and complete bitch fits. This disease is not normally found in people this young, and since it isn't curable, I will live with it for longer than the old crows who get it later in life. 

2. I have a rash. GASP!!! Not to worry, I have not acquired some strange VD (not shorthand for Valentine's Day) My eyes swell up along with a rash on my inner elbows, which makes people not trust leaving children with me, because I look like an IV drug user. 

(Also, disregard everything about feeling better from the previous post, because that was as short-lived as a Kardashian wedding.)

I am completely, utterly in a hate-hate relationship with my own body. I have had a fever for months that no one can explain. I have been off my rocker with all of these issues for so long, that I mostly wanted to post this because as common as Hashimoto's is amongst women, all of the blogs about it are so damn happy-slappy. 

YEAH>>>>Fuck that. 

Sometimes it seems like a whole bunch of not feel-good is heaped in your lap, and there is a point where the guy who asked you how you're doing at the grocery store (even though he was just doing his bullshit scripted job) gets an earful about how fucked up my life and health is. Condensed version. 

So...will I continue to be grumpy cat for the rest of my life? (Hint: this shit will never go away. i.e., prognosis is shit.) No. I will probably get out of this horrible auto-immune flare up and apologize for this rant. Well, maybe not. 

Really, I think it's important for those who have this same level of fuck my awful meat-suit that has turned on me attitude to maybe commiserate. Or to feel bad for me, or to raise me to the level of a martyr. I'm not complaining. (Well, I am complaining about Hashi's, just not about being a lovely martyr, to be memorialized into stained glass, and portriatized for many generations to come.)

The take-away message from all of this: 

Go find someone with an autoimmune disorder and hug them and buy them a drink, because one of two things is happening to them right now...

1. They're not in a flare-up, but are so busy doing things while they constantly fear the next flare-up/ 

2. They're in a flare-up, and may be totally unloveable, unreachable, angry, and physically miserable. 

Buy them a drink, hear them out, and be so fucking glad that you're of relative good health. (Thanks to WebMD, though, I doubt anyone thinks they're not dying.)

Thanks for hearing me out guys, and if you struggle with a disease that makes you attack your own goddamn body, or want to know more about Hashi's, or want to complain about how boring this post was, please feel free to leave comments below. 

Cheers, Elyse

Caramel Nutella Martini...

or as I like to call it.... THE SELF SOOTHER!!!!

Hey everyone, Elyse here.
And yes, I know, another martini recipe.

I am unabashedly addicted to Supernatural.

Warning: Complainer Alert!!!!

Anyways, I recently found out that I can't eat gluten or dairy....I know, I know, everyone says that these days. Here's the difference, I've had tests,(And not by witchdoctors or hippies) it is an autoimmune response to certain things that I put into my body that makes me rash up like a carefree hooker. So...after crying over my loss of pasta and cheese, etc...I decided to jump in headlong. And guess what, I feel better, my awful fever that I've had for months has disappeared, and I feel lively for once. Now that I'm done boring you...let's skip to cheat day number 1!!!!!

Today I'm cheating on dairy. Get over it. 

Okay, so this recipe is gluten free, because even though vodka made with grains contains gluten at first, the distillation process removes all of the gluten, since it can't travel with the alcohol when converted to vapor. 

Thus, I bring you......The Caramel Nutella Martini. There are two facts that I know about life...

1. That problems will arise that make you want to sob, hide, or nap.

2. Nutella solves these. 

GATHER YOUR INGREDIENTS!

- Nutella

-Smirnoff Kissed Caramel

- Coconut Milk

- Martini shaker w/ ice

Now kick up your heels, cause this one is easy as hell.

In an ice filled shaker, add 3 shots of caramel vodka. In a separate bowl, mix 2 shots milk ( I like the thickness and creamyness of it, and don't do low fat, cause that shit is gross.) with a heaping spoonful of nutella. Mix well. Now take another spoonful of nutella, hide from those who might judge you, and devour it!!!!!

I REGRET NOTHING!!!

Add the nutella and coconut mixture to the shaker, and shake! Shake, damn you!!!!! Pour into a glass, and enjoy.

 And don't share. Meh. You don't have to. You are all you need to make yourself happy. You...and Nutella.

The long lost child returneth...

WOW! So, after many illnesses and my schoolwork, I have been a horrible blogger. But...NO MORE!!! So I am bringing you a drink recipe to wash down all of your blogless sorrows. ( and probably a few of mine.)

Mamrie Hart, everybody

Anyways, it should come as news to most of you that I am making a girly drink. GASP! Well, sometimes I have been known to drink something other than dark beer and brown liquors.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you 

My artist husband dolled this one up

As you may be able to tell, this one captures how I feel about missing my blog.

Anyways, this one is really simple to make. 

What it takes:

-A martini shaker. could you just use two cups that fit nicely inside of each other? sure. be fancy. 

-Smirnoff cranberry vodka...(smirnoff isn't my fave, but they saved me the trouble of infusing the vodka.)

-orange juice, the cheaper the better (that's what he said) 

-a mandarin orange, if you're feeling fancy

Please ignore the other bottles in the background. It takes a village to make a drink...that's how it goes...right??

First: Fill that shaker almost all of the way up with ice. Don't be a weenie.

Second: Add...

                  2 parts orange juice to 1 part cran-vodka

Third: Shake it like you've never shaken before. I'll let you in on a little secret...a proper martini has a layer of ice crystals on top of the liquid in the glass. This means it's cold, and oh..so...smooooth. 

Pour in a glass, and garnish with whatever you feel like. I used a mandarin orange peel. 

Now you've done it! Now, sip, smile, and wave. Because if you poured this into a juice glass, no one will ever know. Well, except after you're sloppy. Then they might know. C'mon, kids, it's lunch time!!!!

Java Sugar Scrub

HEY!
Yeah, it's getting there. That," OMG school is killing me, when is break?!"
Or, "these kids are driving me crazy, I don't know how many more school projects I can glue together before I pull my hair out!"





 



So whats a thrifty chick to do?
Take a damn minute and pamper yourself!

Good God no not that.

I mean treat yourself. Even if it's just a bubble bath with some music and a strong drink, you DESERVE IT!
So here's a little something to make just for you (also makes a great gift!)
Java Sugar Scrub:
1/2 cup coffee grounds (Folgers will do you guys, don't use your ten dollar a bag starbucks for this)
1/2 cup of regular old white sugar (you can use raw if you like, just don't use brown sugar, too lumpy)
baby oil
a pinch of cinnamon if you would like

In a bowl, combine your sugar and coffee (just to reiterate, this is right from the bag, don't use already brewed coffee grounds!)
then add a pinch of cinnamon, if you would like.

Then stir well.

Once you have your dry ingredients mixed, add baby oil, one tablespoon at a time,and mix well until you get your desired consistency. I ended up adding about 3, and it came out not too oily, but a nice "fluffy" consistency.

Again, I would like to point out that in some recipes I've seen call for coconut oil or olive oil. Olive oil is ok, but I would steer away from using coconut oil in this recipe, as it does not stay liquid, and could clog your drains. Also, the baby oil and the coffee together make quite a lovely smelling combination.

You can put it in a nice little jar, and if you want to gift it, just add a ribbon! Boom! There ya go.
Now go enjoy it!

<3 Rach

SIDE NOTE: after using this, I've noticed a lot of redness leaving my skin! Plus it's great for a groggy morning shower! :)

DIY Shaving Lotion

Yo!
I know winter is coming, and if you are like me, you say to hell with shaving and wear jeans/leggings.
BUUUUUUT, winter dries out my skin something terrible, and I never put on lotion, 'cause I'm fucking lazy.
Also, I'm broke as hell this week, and ran out of shaving cream. And I really don't like using Boyfriend's Barbasol.


So what's a thrifty chick to do?
Cruise Pinterest and make some shit yourself!

I found this pin: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/44402746299194354/
I'm a pretty skeptical chick, (ahem, cynical), so I was like, shampoo and conditioner with baby oil and lotion. Nope. I call bullshit.
but ya know what? It's pretty fantastic.

What you will need:
1 cup of your choice of shampoo
1 cup of conditioner
5 Tablespoons of lotion
5 Tablespoons of baby oil
A big bowl
and something to put it in when done. (I used an old water bottle. Don't judge me).

First, pour a cup of shampoo, and a cup of conditioner in the bowl.

 Then add your baby oil, and lotion.

Baby oil, made from fresh babies.

 Mix Mix Mix! Then, let it chill out on the counter for about an hour. Then place it in a container for your shower and it's ready to use!

Shave Soup

Mine came out a little thin. You can play with the consistency if you would like. I'm sure it also depends on the products you used. I've seen recipes for this using coconut oil instead of baby oil, but coconut oil tends to get hard in cold water, and I don't want to clog my drains. But feel free to experiment! Try different lotions and shampoos and see what you come up with!
I really like this. My skin is very sensitive, and even using this with my old crappy razor worked like a charm!
<3 Rach.